


An Ace Up Your Sleeve

by noodlerdoodler



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Almost sex but then not, Asexual Character, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Cronus is kinda nice, Cronus isn't a total ass wow, Dirty Talk, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mituna kinda tops, Mood Swings, NO ACTUAL PAILING, Slurs, They are gonna pail but Mituna freaks and starts crying, Weird, i guess, ooc tbh, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:09:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlerdoodler/pseuds/noodlerdoodler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>It's only when Cronus finally makes a grab for Mituna's zipper, trailing his hands down to his waist, that the troll suddenly lets out a shriek and backs the fuck away. He shuffles as far back on the pailing platform as he can, until he's sat right on the end of it, with his legs pulled up to his bare chest. Without his helmet or his shirt, exposing his skinny torso and messy head of hair, only his pants and sneakers remain; he's delicious looking like this but Cronus doesn't pounce on him. Something is wrong here. He shouldn't be shaking like that.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Ace Up Your Sleeve

**Author's Note:**

> Tfw the title is a pun. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I'm ace.

Much to his surprise, today it's Mituna that makes the first move- it's normally the other way around- and suddenly approaches him from behind. Cronus's only warning is the scuffling of quick footsteps before the taller troll hooks his arms around his waist and drags Cronus backwards. Luckily, Cronus doesn't put up a fight and walks willingly because he knows that there's no way that Mituna would be able to pull him on his own, he just doesn't have the strength for it. For all that he's tall, the Heir of Doom is also rather spindly. 

"Woah, woah, what's this?" Cronus demands, as he's pulled backwards, though he can't help smirking, "Somebody's eager today." He recognises the dreambubble as being one of Mituna's hive, not just because of the purple bees but because of the strong smell of honey that fills the place. It's absolutely disgusting and makes him gag, earning him a firm jab in the ribs from the Gemini. There's a pause and Mituna pushes open a door, presumably to the block he keeps for pailing, since every troll has one for when they come of age. 

As long as Cronus has been in a kismesisitude with Mituna Captor, he hasn't pailed him even once. The yellowblood has never shown much interest in pailing him, aside from when he's mocking him by dancing around the hive naked (and yes, he does have two bulges and no, they aren't that big) and slurring about Cronus being a "deththperate fuck!". He's done that plenty of times before, normally collapsing on the floor in a giggling fit by the end of it. 

They've made out plenty of times for hours on end, left plenty of hickeys over each other, been on one or two hate-dates, but never before have they pailed. Not even once. Mituna's never shown any kind of interest in that kind of thing, especially since he doesn't like being touched at the best of times. Cronus hates the way his body tingles excitedly at the idea that he's finally getting to pail Mituna Captor. 

Now, instead of being _pulled_ , Cronus is being _pushed_ backwards onto the pailing platform and he lands there on his back, making him grunt loudly in pain. That's definitely going to bruise later but he can't bring himself to care as Mituna scrambles to climb on top of him and pin him down. Cronus can feel his hot breath against his face and his body pressed up close against his and that alone is enough to make him groan loudly. Mituna chuckles and leans in, so he's literally nose-to-nose with the Aquarius. 

"You're a piecthe of thhit." The Gemini grins at him, turning his head so that he can leave a long kiss against Cronus's lips and it's not fair, it's not fair that his kismesis should be able to make him moan like this when they're both fully clothed and they haven't even touched each other. It's as he's thinking this that he feels a pair of warm hands on his abdomen, moving slowly up to his chest, pulling his shirt off for him. Mituna's sharp claws pressed to his skin make him gasp, swallowing hard. 

"You like that, you whore?" Mituna demands, clearly enjoying himself because he can't help chuckling as he pulls Cronus's shirt off all the way, "You're thththuch a thlut, Cronuth, you'll take anyone that will tho much ath _look_ in your direction. I bet you beat off to the idea of people _talking_ to you, you're thththo lonely." Something about the words or maybe the way he says them, literally spitting them at him, sends shivers down Cronus's spine. 

"Tun..." Cronus whines, all but basking in his cruel words. Still, as much as he wants to scratch and bite and claw at Mituna, he knows that he can't do that until he gets the go-ahead. So, he's careful as he takes hold of Mituna's shirt and helps him wriggle his way out of it. He's glad that he decided to wear actual clothes today instead of that awful suit because god knows how hard it would have been to untangle him from that stupid thing. As soon as the shirt's been removed, Mituna leans in and continues kissing him roughly. 

"Captor, what the fuck are you doin'?!" He can feel Mituna's sharp, jagged fangs scraping across the side of his face as he leaves a trail of sloppy kisses there. His claws are scraping against his chest, slicing the skin open in a way that's sure to leave marks. He swears he can see violet beginning to surface down there. 

"Thhhhut up, Ampora!" Mituna hisses, slobbering over his face as he finally finds his ear fin, which twitches as he gets to work there. Cronus is scarcely aware of anything except the wonderful pain as Mituna sinks his teeth into his fin and his forked tongue flicks against his skin appreciatively. "You're _thththooo pathetic_ , you know that?!" 

"You're the pathetic one, fuckin' pissblood." Cronus growls in protest, as he lets out a series moans that are surely worthy of a pailstar and Mituna giggles back to him in the most annoying way, "I fuckin' hate you!" He drags his hands down Mituna's back, making sure to dig his claws right in so that they tear at the skin and feels blood pooling under his fingernails.

"You're the worthththt at pailing, Cronuththth." Mituna cackles, "You call _thith_ pitch?! You're flirting like a fucking grub, you piecthe of thhit! Kithth me properly, you aththhole!" Finally, he abandons Cronus's fin and the Aquarius misses the sensation so much that he whines loudly. Then, Mituna sits up a little straighter- only a little, his back is still arched so that he can lean over Cronus- and he grabs his kismesis by his shoulders. 

"You're worthlethth!" Mituna spits at him, "You're worthlethth. You don't dethththerve any of thith, you needy ththththlut." And he kisses him furiously, mashing their mouths together. Cronus is trying his hardest to kiss back as he feels teeth digging into his bottom lip, split tongue doing things to his own that were definitely unacceptable. God, it feels good. The degrading words are just the icing on the cake, making Cronus whine pathetically. Mituna is good at this. 

When Cronus shifts, his kismesis shifts on top of him as he's currently attached to him like the horny parasite that he is. Slim arms slide over his shoulders and wrap tightly around his neck, lips adjusting to suck more impatiently at Cronus's mouth. It's the usual kind of sloppy kissing that the seadweller had originally found gross but he's grown to love over the sweeps. Mituna lets out a snarl as Cronus's hands carefully begin to roam his body, admiring the way he squirms and wriggles to trap the seadweller there. 

It's only when Cronus finally makes a grab for Mituna's zipper, trailing his hands down to his waist, that the troll suddenly lets out a shriek and backs the fuck away. He shuffles as far back on the pailing platform as he can, until he's sat right on the end of it, with his legs pulled up to his bare chest. Without his helmet or his shirt, exposing his skinny torso and messy head of hair, only his pants and sneakers remain; he's delicious looking like this but Cronus doesn't pounce on him. Something is wrong here. He shouldn't be shaking like that. 

"Tun?" 

"Thththorry." Mituna looks so suddenly shaken, sniffling a little and hiding behind his awful mop of hair, "Thththhhorry." And thick yellow tears begin to spill down his face, dripping onto his chest, rolling down and puddling on the pailing platform. And he won't stop making that terrible sniffling noise. 

"What's wrong, chief?" Cronus asks, peering curiously at his kismesis; he knows that Mituna has his drastic mood swings but they don't normally happen so abruptly for no reason at all, "You were doin' so well." He adds quieter, in hopes of comforting him. After all, what the hell is he supposed to say? The troll that he's meant to hate is suddenly pathetic and sobbing and he doesn't know what to do. 

"I- I don't-! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He's twitching.

"You don't what? C'mon, chief, you can tell me. I need to know these things so I don't upset you again. What's got your panties in a twist?" 

"I don't..." Mituna quietens as Cronus shifts closer to him, his sobs ceasing just as suddenly as I started, "I don't want you to touch me there, Cronuth." Oh. He didn't want to pail? Then, why did he...? Fuck it. Fishing around in his pocket, Cronus finds an old handkerchief tucked away and he pulls it out. And being very careful not to hurt him, he pushes Mituna's hair out of the way and wipes at his tears. There's still visible scarring from the accident that rendered him like this, jagged lines of red and blue like lightning. The yellowblood sniffs, crossing his arms. 

"It's okay." Cronus promises, mopping up the last of the tears, "I won't touch you there. Not if you don't want me too. Keep things above waist level, yeah?" 

"I thought I could do it." Mituna whimpers, "I wanted to do it for you." 

"Tun, _no_." Cronus rolls his eyes, "Don't make yourself uncomfortable, you ass." 

"Don't you want to pail me?" Mituna demands. 

"What- no. I do. But if you don't want to, then it's fine." 

"You've been thththpending too much time with Kankri." Mituna snickers.

"I'll just find someone hotter to pail." 

"Luckily, you have enough money to pay people." 

"Shut up." 

Before he can register what's happening, his kismesis flings his arms around him and pulls him in close. Cronus is too stunned to react for a moment and then, he just gingerly pats him on the back. He's not used to receiving affection like this from Mituna. Or from anyone quite frankly. "There, there. We're okay."

"Are you thththure?"

"Yeah, we're fine, chief." 

"Am I ththtill a good kithmethithth?" 

"Are you kidding? You're the best, Tun." Carefully, he pries his kismesis off him and wriggles free of his surprisingly tight grip, "You know that. You've told me enough times." That makes him cackle and Cronus feels the familiar feeling of two sets of fangs digging into the side of his neck, nipping deep enough to leave a mark, before Mituna withdraws. 

"Thank you, Cronuthth." Mituna says, brightly, "You're not ath big of an athththole ath I thought. Well, actually, you are. I thtill think you're a pretentiouth douchebag." 

"You can thank me in kisses, kitten." Cronus doesn't object as Mituna clambers back on top of him and presses him back down against the platform, straddling him and snickering mischievously.

"Nothing more? Just kiththing? No touching... There?" 

"I won't go anywhere near your bulge. Or your nook. I promise. C'mon, doll, gimme a kiss." 

"You're thuch a little bitch. I don't owe you kiththeth." 

But, obligingly, Mituna returns to making out with him messily and Cronus's hands slip back up to his kismesis's shoulders, gripping him there. He makes sure to hold him tight enough that it must hurt because Mituna howls and bites him hard on the fin in revenge. 

"Fuck off, Ampora!" Mituna snaps, "I hate you." 

"Hate you too." 

There are several more rounds of furious kissing and nipping and biting and licking (and drooling in Mituna's case) before the two of them concede and agree to hold a truce so they can get their breath back. Instead of sliding off him, Mituna just collapses there on top of Cronus and presses his head into his chest. It's unusual for him to hang around for very long, since he normally tries to stay as far from Cronus as he can most of the time. _Because he was scared of me touching him_ , Cronus thinks. This newfound trust is nice, he guesses. He toys with Mituna's hair, knowing it will annoy him. 

"Ughh, Cronuth!" He whines on cue but he doesn't put up any further protest and even pushes up into Cronus's hand, making a faint noise that could have been a grumble or a purr, "I fucking hate you tho much." 

"I hate you too. Can you get off so that I can get up? Some of us do have things that they want do tonight. I'm gonna find me some hot babes." He tries to sit up but he gets a fist smacked hard against his chest for his efforts, "Hey! What was that for, Captor?" 

"Don't go yet, Cronuth." Mituna mumbles, "Thtay with me. Good kithmethith, good." A slender hand reaches up to pat him on the head, ruffling his hair and therefore ruining it. That was probably Mituna's intention, the asshole. 

"Mituna-" 

"Thhththhhhuthhhththhh." Mituna shushes, "Thtay. Five more minuteth." 

"Fine. Five more minutes." Cronus sighs. 

Of course, it ends up being much longer than that because by the time five whole minutes has passed, Mituna is snoozing on his chest and he can't sit up. The Gemini probably trapped him here so that he couldn't leave. What a dick.


End file.
